HOW TO STOP LOOKING AT PORNOGRAPHY
In our last article we talked about why you should stop looking at porn so here we are going to tell you how to do it.
There's no medical consensus on whether pornography is addictive, but it's hard to argue that it doesn't have at least some negative effects when it comes to teaching perceptions of the human body and sexual relationships. And like any habit with the potential to form a strong attraction, overuse of pornography can seriously interfere with your relationships or other aspects of your life. Examine your life to identify these effects and come up with workable solutions.
There's no medical consensus on whether pornography is addictive, but it's hard to argue that it doesn't have at least some negative effects when it comes to teaching perceptions of the human body and sexual relationships. And like any habit with the potential to form a strong attraction, overuse of pornography can seriously interfere with your relationships or other aspects of your life. Examine your life to identify these effects and come up with workable solutions.
Part 1
Blocking access
1. Make yourself accountable. Even before you start
clearing your hard drive, approach your spouse, friend, or respected
community member and announce your intention to cut pornography out of
your life.[1] Finding someone who will support you through the high points and low during this effort will make quitting much easier.
This also helps with the practical task of installing anti-porn software, without you yourself knowing the password.
2. Destroy your pornography collection. As long as this
material is around, falling back into the habit will be easy. Delete
pornographic files on your computer and mobile devices. Throw away
pornographic magazines, discs, and all other pornographic material.
3. Install anti-porn software on your computer and mobile devices.
There are many programs available, but in most cases you will need a
friend to create the password for you in secret, so you are not able to
bypass the block. Here are a few good options:[2][3]
Qustodio
has an extensive array of options, and works on just about any computer
and mobile device, except for Linux. Free and premium versions are
available.
On a Windows computer, you can use Microsoft Family Safety for free.
Norton Family Online is a free option for Windows, Android, and iOS. Try additional features with a 30-day free trial of the premium version.
Covenant Eyes,
a Christian company, offers a service for $10/month for computers and
mobile devices, and can prevent even the account owner from bypassing
the protection.
4. Disable your internet access whenever possible. If
you're likely to spend your time trying to circumvent your site-blocking
software, stop the attempt in advance by turning off the WiFi or
unplugging your Ethernet cable from your computer or mobile device
whenever you aren't using the internet for other purposes.
If no one else is using the network, unplug or turn off your router
or modem as well. The more steps it takes to get back online, the less
likely you are to give in during a moment of weakness.
Fill your time with other activities. If you spend
your free time bored and alone, the temptation to seek out porn will be
more difficult to resist. Find something else to occupy yourself:
Start a daily exercise routine.
Because exercise releases endorphins and other "feel good" chemicals,
many people use it to compensate when quitting an addiction.[4]
Take a vacation or a weekend trip to begin your effort. Habits are
often easier to change when accompanied by a change in environment or
circumstances.[5]
Ask a friend to introduce you to his hobby. Social activities
automatically introduce you to a person or group encouraging you to
stick with the change, even if she doesn't know your reasons for picking
up the hobby.
Part 2
Part 2
Changing your habits
Understand signs of negative behavior. Pornography
and sex are charged subjects, and there is no consensus among
psychologists or medical experts on the effects of porn or whether a
porn habit should be described as an addiction. That said, the following
warning signs should tip you off that your pornography habit is
something to take seriously:[6]
- You find it difficult to cut back on your pornography viewing.
- You lie about the amount of pornography you watch.
- Your relationships, job, or studies have taken a backseat to pornography.
- You prefer watching pornography to sex.
- Identify your triggers. Keep a notebook to write in any time you crave pornography or watch it. Write down a description of the scene directly before the craving started, including your mood, what you were doing, and how you were feeling that day. Stress, lack of sleep, friends who engage in or talk about porn, or easy access to pornography are all possible triggers.
-
3Strategically plan to thwart your triggers. When possible, avoid triggers altogether. If seeing semi-erotic TV ads is a trigger, avoid watching programs that may have that kind of content. If it's your commute past the local college campus, drive another way. If you cannot reasonably avoid a trigger, plan in advance how you will thwart the triggers effect on you.
- If the trigger is unavoidable, make a mental plan in advance for what you will do in that situation. Picture yourself ignoring the trigger, thinking of what to make for dinner instead, or leaving the computer and taking a walk outside.
- Carry around distracting items such as an exciting book or a puzzle collection.[7]
-
4Find healthy alternatives. If you are sexually or romantically frustrated, try seeking a relationship or a more casual sexual relationship. If you are trying to stop watching porn because of its unrealistic depictions of sex and bodies, or how it teaches you to treat sexual partners, consider watching non-mainstream porn that tries to address these issues, such as the videos awarded a Feminist Porn Award.
-
5Seek professional help. If attempting to quit pornography on your own is too difficult or causing too much stress in your life, seek advice from a professional therapist or a 12-step program.[8] Therapy is especially important if you have experienced sexual or physical abuse in the past, or suffered from depression or anxiety.
- If you have an unsatisfying sexual relationship with a partner,
consider attending sexual satisfaction counseling together. One study
shows that even ordinary relationship counseling can improve a sexual
relationship.[9]
TIPS
- You do not have to stop masturbating along with porn. Medical
experts consider masturbation a normal, healthy activity as long as it
is not causing stress in your relationship.[10]
Christians are more likely to self-identify as porn addicts than nonreligious people who watch the same amount of porn.[11] Advice from a religious mentor may reduce your anxiety, but consider advice from the sexual education perspective as well.
Install a habit-tracking app such as 'Brainbuddy' or 'Habit Streak' to keep track of your progress and prevent relapse.
Try to see the reality of porn, instead of a fantasy.
Remember that as well as the woman in the picture there's always someone on the other side of the camera - nearly always a man, often a husband or boyfriend.
Source
Wikihow.com
- If you have an unsatisfying sexual relationship with a partner,
consider attending sexual satisfaction counseling together. One study
shows that even ordinary relationship counseling can improve a sexual
relationship.[9]
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